Die Ehre des Exils

Der rumänische Bildhauer Brancusi hat einmal gesagt, wenn ein Künstler aufhört, ein Kind zu sein, ist er tot. Ich weiß zwar nicht, wieviel von einem Künstler in mir steckt, aber ich verstehe, was Brancusi damit sagen wollte. Ich kann - sogar noch in meinem Alter- mein beständiges kindliches Selbst erfassen. Schreiben ist ein kindlicher Beruf, auch wenn es sehr ernst wird, so wie Kinder eben oft sind.

Mein langer Weg der Unreife begann vor mehr als einem halben Jahrhundert. Es war im Juli 1945, einige Monate, nachdem ich aus dem Konzentrationslager Transnistria zurückgekehrt war. In jenem paradiesischen Sommer lebte ich in einem kleinen moldawischen Ort, überwältigt von der wunderbaren Banalität einer normalen, sicheren Umgebung. Der betreffende Nachmittag war vollkommen, sonnig und still, das Halbdunkel des Raumes einladend. Ich war allein im Universum und hörte einer Stimme zu, die meine war und doch nicht mein war. Mein Gefährte war ein Buch mit rumänischen Märchen, es hatte einen harten grünen Einband und war mir ein paar Tage vorher gegeben worden, als ich das feierliche Alter von 9 Jahren erreichte.

Das ist der Moment, als für mich das Wunder der Worte, die Magie der Literatur begann. Krankheit und Therapie begannen gleichzeitig. Früh, viel zu früh wollte ich auch Teil dieser Familie der Wortzauberer werden, die meine geheimen Verwandten waren. Es war meine Art, nach dem "Anderen" fern der Trivialität des Alltags zu suchen und mein wirkliches Selbst unter den vielen Personen zu finden, aus denen ich bestand.

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