Weihnachten hinter Gittern

LUKYANIVSKA-GEFÄNGNIS, KIEW: Es heißt, im Schützenloch gibt es keine Atheisten. Hier – nach meinem Schauprozess und viereinhalb Monaten in der Zelle – habe ich entdeckt, dass es auch im Gefängnis keine Atheisten gibt.

Wenn man trotz unerträglicher Schmerzen selbst in der eigenen Zelle stundenlang ohne Pause verhört wird und das komplette Zwangssystem eines autoritären Regimes einschließlich seiner Medien versucht, einen ein für alle Male zu diskreditieren und zu vernichten, wird das Gebet zum einzig privaten, vertrauensvollen und einem Mut gebenden Gespräch, dass man haben kann. Gott, so erkennt man, ist der einzige Freund und die einzige Familie, die einem zur Verfügung stehen – denn wenn einem selbst der Zugang zu einem Priester, dem man vertraut, genommen wird, ist niemand anders mehr da, dem man seine Sorgen und Hoffnungen anvertrauen kann.

In dieser Jahreszeit der Liebe und der Familie ist die Einsamkeit einer Gefängniszelle beinahe unerträglich. Die graue, tote Stille der Nacht (Gefängniswärter schielen voyeuristisch durch einen Schlitz in der Tür zu einem hinein), die plötzlichen, körperlosen Schreie der Gefangenen – Schreie des Leids und der Wut, das ferne Rattern und Scheppern der Gefängnisriegel: All dies macht Schlaf unmöglich oder so unruhig, dass er eine Qual ist.

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