L'Honneur de l'exil

Le sculpteur roumain Brancusi a dit un jour que lorsque l'artiste cesse d'être un enfant, il meurt. Je ne sais toujours pas dans quelle mesure je suis un artiste, mais je comprends ce que disait Brancusi. Je peux comprendre, même à mon âge, mon moi puéril qui perdure. L'écriture est une profession puérile, même quand cela devient excessivement sérieux, comme le sont souvent les enfants.

Ma longue route d'immaturité commença plus d'un demi-siècle plus tôt. C'était en juillet 1945, quelques mois après mon retour du camp de concentration connu sous le nom de Transnistria. Cet été paradisiaque, je le passai dans une petite ville moldave, submergé par la banalité miraculeuse d'un environnement normal et sécurisant. Cet après-midi particulier se montrait parfait, ensoleillé et tranquille, et la demi-obscurité de la pièce était accueillante. J'étais seul au monde, à écouter une voix qui était la mienne sans être la mienne. J'avais pour compagnon un livre de contes de fées roumains, doté d'une couverture cartonnée verte, que j'avais reçu quelques jours auparavant, quand j'atteignis l'âge solennel de 9 ans.

C'est à ce moment-là que l'émerveillement des mots et la magie de la littérature commencèrent pour moi. La maladie et son remède commencèrent en même temps. Bientôt, trop tôt, je voulus faire partie de cette famille de magiciens des mots, ces miens parents que je gardais secrets. Ce fut une façon de chercher ``quelque chose d'autre'' au-delà de la trivialité de la vie quotidienne, tout autant que de partir en quête de mon vrai moi parmi les nombreuses personnalités qui m'habitaient.

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