Le Noël du prisonnier

PRISON DE LUKYANIVSKA, KIEV - Il n’y a pas d’athées dans les tranchées ; c’est ce que dit le fameux adage. Ici, après mon procès spectacle et quatre mois derrière les barreaux, j’ai découvert qu’il n’y avait pas non plus d’athées en prison.

Lorsque, malgré une douleur insupportable, vous êtes interrogé - y compris dans votre cellule - pendant des dizaines d’heures d’affilée, qu’un régime autoritaire et son système de coercition tout entier, y compris les médias, s’efforcent de vous discréditer et de vous détruire une fois pour toute, la prière devient la seule interlocutrice intime, digne de confiance et rassurante que vous puissiez avoir. Vous réalisez que Dieu est votre seul ami et votre seule famille, car - privé de tout, jusqu’à l’attention même d’un prêtre de confiance - il n’existe personne d’autre à qui confier vos peurs et vos espoirs.

En cette saison d’amour familial, la solitude d’une cellule de prison est presque insupportable. Le gris silence de la nuit (les gardes vous observant avec voyeurisme à travers la fente de la porte), les cris soudains et informes des prisonniers, les hurlements de rage et de détresse, les cliquetis et les fracas distants des verrous de cellule : toutes ces choses vous rendent le sommeil impossible, ou alors aussi agité que tourmenté.

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