一名囚犯的圣诞节

发自基辅卢科亚尼夫斯卡监狱——人家说在烽火连天的战场上不存在无神论者。而如今,在经历了公审和四个半月囚禁之后,我发现在监狱中也不会有无神论者存在。

当你强忍着巨大的痛楚承受连续数十个小时的审讯(即便在囚室内也不例外),而统治当局的整个强制系统,包括其下属媒体,都试图彻底抹黑和毁掉你的时候,祈祷就成为一个人唯一私密,可信和安心的交流方式。你会觉得上帝才是你唯一的朋友和家人,因为在连一个可信赖的牧师都被禁止接触的时候,没有人能聆听你的忧虑和希冀。

在这个洋溢着爱和天伦之乐的季节,身处囚室中的寂寞几乎让人无法忍受。那些黯淡而死寂的夜(看守们还不时会透过铁门上的小孔窥视你),有时囚犯们会突然发出尖啸,似乎要奋力挣脱自己的肉体,再加上那些郁闷而狂躁的狂吼,不知来自何处的窃窃私语和铁门的叮当声——一切都让人难以入眠,或者焦躁不安,形同折磨。

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